"What a piece of work is man"

is the name of Angee's blog. It's a pleasing quote. Today I was writing my little mini-speech for the student of the month (shelby kay-fantozzi is the STUDENT OF THE MONTH! Be excited.) and--well--are you aware of those moments in which you decide to have an opinion on something kind of out of thin air? It was an epiphany, I guess. So I was writing my speech, and pulled THIS out of thin air...

...Though I don't have her for class anymore, I’ve continued to learn from her—mostly about surviving the tough moments and enjoying the good ones. These are two people who I can approach with any problem, story—anything—and I know they’re there for me. This year I’ve realized how valuable that is and I can’t thank either of them enough.

I need to start paying attention when things like that come out of my subconscious. Generally I'm struck with thoughts like "It'd be cool to get married in a planetarium*" or--actually written as I fell asleep at my keyboard doing a lit essay--"fork demonstrates the disappointment explained ever, a let-down made even more unbearable b." But when a really good idea comes my way--well, that's the real reason I have a blog. It's the perfect sort of place to record those discoveries.

"Surviving the tough moments...enjoying the good ones." I need to spend much more time getting in touch with the optimist within me. I need to compartmentalize. At the end of the day, I need to be able to refine my experiences, separate them by their significance and grief/joy factor. I need to listen to more Bach and read more fiction novels. I need to drop the panic attacks and return to the habit of meditation. I need to allot myself time for enjoying the sun and the stars. Those are my inside goals, only important to me. Of course, I also need to get my work done, get a job, and advance my other 'outside' goals.

I write and think often about the subject of deciding what matters and what doesn't. But the practice is much harder than sitting in front of the keyboard and waxing philosophical for an audience of approximately 6 readers. I have to remember when time feels like it's rushing by too fast for me to even react to anything, it's probably because my thoughts aren't as organized as they should be.

What can I say? I'm not the most organized person. That's why other people help me see things the right way. But I'm learning to do this on my own.

Training wheels in the form of written word in 3...
2...
1...

Good things:
It's always better when we're together.
Today was international 'hug an actor' day. Aubs took full advantage.
*Air on the G String set to a montage of deep space pictures.
I made plans for surprising someone.
I went out with my friends. Twice.
Coffee.
The knowledge that I never spent even a small section of my life as a mall rat.
Innuendo.